Tuesday, December 29, 2009

The Ex-Girlfriend

Sooo I did it... I got back together with my X... I know, I know... I'm an idiot... but I honestly have to say that I realized she's everything I've ever wanted and was foolish to take such a lengthy break. Before you think about chewing me out here are some of my reasons for the blessed reunion: She listens when I talk to her, tells me only really important updates on her life, lets me play video games (in fact she loves it when I do), lets me hang out with virtually anyone I want, only bugs me once a year for money, doesn't talk back or annoy me, has meltdowns once in a blue moon (and it's never my fault) is easily turned on & doesn't want to snuggle/chitchat after I get my game on, loves watching movies with me, lets me boss her around, doesn't care if I swear at her or around her, is infinitely patient, always does exactly what I want, she's rarely stubborn or demanding, she's tall, skinny & has curves in allllll the right places, she doesn't cheat but is totally cool with it if I do, she's always waiting for me when I get home & is totally fine should I choose to neglect her... basically she's perfect in every way possible and it's impossible to ever find a woman like her. So without further delay let me re-introduce the love of my life.....Bertha

She's on the left wearing white (I have no idea who that girl holding her is..)



Tuesday, December 22, 2009


Yeah, by the last few posts you might get the impression things are not so good for me.... quite the contrary. This happens to be a "in the moment" blogaritto that I sometimes vent on. Blessedly I am pleased to inform those that read this that, although the last year has been literally one of the craziest, most stressful, insane times of my life, I am also blessed a thousand times over. I have a job in this crazy economy, I have a warm home and enough to eat, I have a kickass family and totally awesome friends that support me, I have a solid relationship with my Savior Jesus Christ & God the father, I have my health, and soooo much more. There's ten times the good in my life than there is the bad.... Things at my job just got a heck of a lot better, personal trials have come to an end & the realization that you can only do your best is finally settling in this thick skull of mine. The problem is that I'm extremely hard on myself but for good reasons!! EX: should Jesus show up at my place tomorrow, I know I'm not who/where I want to be & shrink at the thought of that awesome yet possibly destructive meeting (by destructive I mean me being burnt to a crisp for being so wicked all the time). Each day is a blessing & we truly are lucky to be alive where we are/when we are. The silly little things I complain about on this are really just introspection or observations of things I see and need to apply in my life... when the trials pass I can come back and see how things turned out and where I went right/wrong. BUT if there's one thing I wish to express it's that everyday is a blessing, and also a trial. I suck at being peter priesthood, but I have a firm testimony of the gospel of Jesus Christ and how it blesses my life every single day. For all the things (good & bad) that I've been through it's easy to see that it was all for my own good & I was able to extract the lessons/applications that were meant for me. I'm a very blessed person and hate to think I don't acknowledge that fact.  I still hate Christmas shopping though... it frickin sucks. Going to see Avatar tonight & I'm excited, Miss you frengs and hope all is well!

Peace & Joy to all my Homies,

Senor Stanley

Monday, December 21, 2009

Merry F#*$ing Christmas Bia

Bwahahahaha!!!! noooo I'm not a grinch, just realized I DO NOT feel the holiday spirit this year. I used to LOVE everything about this friggin holiday but this year.... I loathe it. Long lines, bitchy sales people, evil item snatchers, efffff finding parking, and a million other annoyances. But honestly I know why I hate this particular holiday season and it's my own fault.... see... I usually have all my shopping done by October or November at the very latest. Due to a insane year of slavery a la office that didn't happen. So I've finally had to experience what my previous genius prevented.... and I hate my life.  Goal for next year : be done shopping by the usual time frame. orrrrrr bring a taser/tranquilizer gun with me so I can "take care" of all the problems I've experienced the last week or so.  I Matthew Stanley swear on the blood that I will never do my Christmas shopping in December again (unless it's for the next year) or may my blood boil and I give up my first born.... (or if I do everyone is getting gift cards) I am officially a roid rager & didn't know it until I was at target and people were everywhere and all I could think about was drinking some riot punch and going ballistic on the shovey rude people & kicking annoying demon childrens faces off. Yeah that's right... someone stole the jelly out of my doughnut. Anyways Merry Christmas friends. I hope ya'll weren't stupid like me.

I feel better now. and Happy Chanukah as well

Tuesday, December 15, 2009

You ever get the feeling...

That someone is totally full of crap & then confirm it? it's a paradox, you feel vindicated but at the same time disappointed b/c you were hoping to be wrong. It's funny what people think they can get away with. It's also sad what people are capable of because they think they can get away with it. It gets even better when you know the truth & then continue to go along with the charade until either the truth comes out or you walk away cuz the crap just gets deeper. That may sound strange but I'm not one to confront people, it never does any good, you never get real answers just more lies so it's better just to cut your losses & peace out. Doing things that way also gives the person an opportunity to rectify the situation and redeem themselves (cuz lets face it, we've all been guilty of this at some point) It's sad though.... I don't get why people do those types of things in the first place... it just ain't right. People today expect what they aren't willing to give (the truth). Homey don't play that. And this applies to friendships, relationships, marriages, and pretty much every other human interaction. Look at all the high profile people in positions of public trust/power/influence that live double lives....they may be good at what they do but they suck as a person. It's yet another example of how crappy people are becoming.

Friday, December 11, 2009

Homo Erectus Sinistre

People are funny.... I recently noticed that for the most part (emphasis on MOST PART) people only seem to want what they want until they actually get it... and I mean that across the board, whether it's material goods, affection, or even a lifestyle. Why is that?? is it normal?? and yes I am totally guilty of lusting for things and then once I attain them I lose interest quickly (video games is a perfect example) Is it that we are easily bored? or is it that feeling that you've got it, now it's time to find something better? Where is our ability to be content? how come we can't appreciate things more, especially when we've fought long and hard for them? It's weird hearing someone talk about their promotion yet complain that they felt they deserved better. Or watching a guy/girl finally get that person they were chasing just to lose interest once the chase is over.... it's effed up. Like I said, in no way am I perfect but I am disappointed in people in general regarding this. Another weird aspect is how people go bonkers when that thing/person/situation they took for granted finds new life elsewhere. It's crazy how quickly people all of a sudden appreciate something that they didn't give a crap about (but only because of an outside stimulus) Is it greed? selfishness? failure to fully appreciate blessings?? What makes us act so retarded? the last five or so years have taught me much, like making sure to actually think about why I want the thing in the first place, or what are the pro's and con's?? is it worth a long term investment or is it just a whim? My goal is to think it all through before I go all in. It doesn't always work though. But I've finally got a good grasp on recognizing what my motives/intentions truly are and what the possible consequences of my actions will be.... It's others motives/intentions that remain the enigma and based on experience I definitely lack faith in my fellow man to do the same. Does that make me bad/paranoid? I consider it self-preservation... thoughts amigos?

Tuesday, November 17, 2009

New Moon Sneak Preview!!!!!

oh edward, oh bella, oh edward, oh bella, oh edward, oh bella, *teenage angst* oh edward, oh bella, oh edward, oh bella, oh edward, oh bella, oh edward, oh bella, oh edward, oh bella, oh edward, *teenage angst* oh bella, oh edward, oh bella, oh edward, oh bella, oh edward, oh bella, *teenage angst*. There you just saw the movie. oh wait... i forgot to add the jealous dire wolf.... Oh bella ooowwwwooooooooooo! *flex half naked* fight, kiss, dakota fanning, more fights, face stare x 7000, crying, depression, more *teenage angst*, final fight. roll credits.

Sooooo I think this is funny. I bet most of the girls on this planet would like to lynch me but whatever.... Vampires don't #*$&ing sparkle in the sun, they combust. duh. And Werewolves are 100% not Dire Wolves... Man, some huge nerd like myself should get paid to make sure these people follow all the rules when it comes to Vampires, Werewolves, Magic & such.... I mean everyone knows you can't triple stamp and double stamp so what the hell are they thinking?!?!?! I'm excited for Avatar to come out.... and yes, I am going to see New Moon...... although I'll probably get all irate and fussy about her warped perceptions on immortals & shape-shifters. On a side note- I got the new harry potter a few weeks ago & have watched it a millionty times & can't wait for the next ones. Wow. I really am a huge dork, I mean *ahem* AWESOME. hahaha edwards wearing a snuggie..... although thats a cool color for a snuggie he still looks like sleeve of wizard....


Thursday, November 5, 2009

The Reckoning

Let me first apologize for the sappiness that is about to come forth...For some reason this clip reminds me of my friends..... except the whiner girl at the end... she reminds me of stupidity (dainty dudes should never insult uneducated people with guns). Lately I find myself wishing my close friends were... well... closer. Though time zones and miles may separate the lot of us, I'm constantly reminded (and grateful) for the people that accompany me on this earthly adventure. Times are a'changin but one thing that hasn't is who I consider my true friends. Sure we all meet new people (I call them acquaintances until they earn the right to be called friend) in our separate lives but in all sincerity I've yet to find people I'll let get anywhere near as close as those I call my real friends. Heck some of you may not even know how or what I think of you but for me it's really not what someone says so much as what they do or are willing to do on your behalf (whether its to kick ass for you or kick your ass when it needs kickin). There's a handful of people in this world that might not be my relatives but, in my eyes, are blood to me. For some it's out of deep respect & bonds of friendship we have formed. For others it's the sincere gestures, honest advice, consolation, and love you've shown to myself or others with no ulterior motives or selfish intent. For all of you that I call my friends... I just want to say thanks for being who you are, were, and aspire to become, as well as helping me recognize my own potential. It's reassuring to know that so many noble & great people have been a part of my life and continue to be a part of it. I've had times where something so simple or just a few hours of shootin the breeze made a world of difference to me and I fully realize I suck at saying thanks. Other times I've reached out & you not only answered the call but brought the cavalry with you. I know I'm not the best friend in the world and apologize for my failings & stupidity but what I want most is for them to know that I'm YOUR best friend too. I've been thinking a lot lately & realized how kick-ass my friends really are. I don't say it enough but I love you all (I mean that in the creepiest way possible) and will do everything and anything I can to return the kindness/concern/love you've shown me. Just remember, I'm not rich yet so don't ask for money.... So friends: should you ever stand in need, all you need to do is ask....



Friday, October 2, 2009

Do you like my painting?

“The most important kind of freedom is to be what you really are. You trade in your reality for a role. You trade in your sense for an act. You give up your ability to feel, and in exchange, put on a mask. There can't be any large-scale revolution until there's a personal revolution, on and individual level. It's got to happen inside first. You can take away a man's political freedom and you won't hurt him- unless you take away his freedom to feel. That can destroy him. That kind of freedom can't be granted. Nobody can win it for you. People are afraid of themselves, of their own reality; their feelings most of all. People talk about how great love is, but that's bullshit. Love hurts. Feelings are disturbing. People are taught that pain is evil and dangerous. How can they deal with love if they're afraid to feel? Pain is meant to wake us up. People try to hide their pain. But they're wrong. Pain is something to carry, like a radio. You feel your strength in the experience of pain. It's all in how you carry it. That's what matters. Pain is a feeling. Your feelings are a part of you. Your own reality. If you feel ashamed of them, and hide them, you're letting society destroy your reality. You should stand up for your right to feel your pain. ”

-Jim Morrison

And no... I'm not all butt hurt or anything, I just agree with his thought process (except I believe we should experience & accept pain, but not dwell on it unto the point of consumption) plus The Doors kick ass. Amen.

Wednesday, July 8, 2009


So thats bogus... no mating will be discussed in this episode. But I would love to give a shout out to the guy that sat next to me on my flight from Minneapolis to Denver!!! Thanks for farting for what seemed like the ENTIRE flight!! It was soooooooo awesome smelling your gnarly butt bombs whilst we rubbed shoulders in seats already way too close!! I assure you that if I had eaten anything before the flight....you would have been wearing it.... for realz amigos... this guy was somethin else. Not even the overhead jet fan could dissapate them with the frequency he was flingin his private brand of fungal mushroom buttbreeze... it could have been classified legitimately as chemical warfare (it was a mushroomy mustard gas)... From this day forward he shall be know as "The Prince Of Putrescence" I've burned his visage into my brain and swear by the blood, that should we meet again, that day will indeed be his last.... I cringe when I think about that flight... anyways, Whacko Jacko is dead. that is all i have to say about how much i dont care about that. Billy the infomercial guy died too & I saw him on TV waaaay more in the last few years. (in addition to his awesome inventions he was a secret spokesman for Just for Men) Mcnair got gunned down by his crazy ex-concubine (serves him right for cheating & his widow is now rich and single.... wonder if she likes white dudes?) and Farrah Fawcettface died too. thats four people I don't have to worry about anymore b/c all i ever do with my life is track the lives of celebrities and worship the ground/screen they walk on!!! NOT ( <--- awesome 90's term i plan on reviving....PWNED/FAIL is stupid) anyways I know he was the king of pop and all, but he stopped being cool after cory feldman made that weird movie about dreams and acted like Jacko the whole time. <--tangent. I maaay or may not be disgusted with myself for even talking about this all soooo time to switch topics. actually, i'm gonna end this one rightttt there... until later amigo's and to the Prince....beware.

Tuesday, June 9, 2009


Below is the definition of Patience-
1. the quality of being patient, as the bearing of provocation, annoyance, misfortune, or pain, without complaint, loss of temper, irritation, or the like.
2. an ability or willingness to suppress restlessness or annoyance when confronted with delay: to have patience with a slow learner.
3. quiet, steady perseverance; even-tempered care; diligence: to work with patience.

I would like to think I have lots of this... and in some respect I do... but lately i've been realizing that I suck at being patient. Good things come to those who wait, patience is a virtue, blah blah blah.... it's so hard to be patient! even when you know its the right thing to do, or that it will eventually happen.... it's that sense of entitlement that causes the hardship.... and as much as you would like to think you're patient... once you get that panicked feeling where you think the world is crumbling and you're about to give in, thats when you need to suck it up and flex all your muscles like Bruce-frickin-Lee, adopt the stoneface ironheart style & reasses the situation. If it's meant to happen... it will. Gods concept of time sure as crap isnt ours and sometimes days turn into months, and months then turn into years, but surrendering your will & desires (even righteous ones) is neccesary to realize your full potential. Its not our place to make demands, just accept blessings & hope for the best. I find that when I'm trying my hardest (or feel like I am) is when I have the hardest time. Its like climbing a huge cliff & getting to the top only to realize the "top" is the bottom of another cliff. BUT! the true comfort lies in turning around and looking at the view from the one you just scaled... sure it could be a nice view or has scary things that happened on that particular climb, but its also being able to turn back around, face that new obstacle & start climbing again instead of dwelling on your last one entirely (you can't forget or you'll repeat mistakes, duh). There may never be a "top" to the cliffs but the view will get clearer & clearer as you go up & the climb will get easier as you learn to look out for things that previously caused hardship or struggles. Zen masters have it right... through meditation we can resolve our issues if we are willing to confront them head-on & face the reality of ourselves. We are not perfect.... (and if you think you are, I know this guy named Jesus that'll tell you otherwise) but how many people are able to slay their own demons & accept that they have flaws? most of us have to have them pointed out by other people.... Introspective personal analysis is difficult but when you reach the point where you can see & alter the natural man inside yourself, it's my belief that you are starting to get the big picture... (p.s. LDS people call meditation "pondering" but its the same freakin thing). Now I'm not sayin sit around all day & think about how messed up you are... I'm just saying if you aren't happy, you're the only one that really knows why & how to go about fixin it. So take a seat, open your mind & start slaying your dragons. It takes patience & resolve, I know this because sometimes it takes me years to overcome my own issues, but there's an inner peace knowing that you are the master of your mind & can change yourself if you want to. anyways this is a rambler but yeah.... once again i'm reminded who's timeframe i'm on (not mine) soooo until then i gotta keep climbing cliffs & practicing my Zen ninja arts while accepting that fact that the Universe does not revolve around Me (although I think it probably should) Life is good, not easy, but good. Patience teaches us perspective suckas.... and sorry for the spat of seriousness, I promise to slink back into debauchery & sarcastically ill humor on my next post. & these posts are reminders for me, myself & I on my own introspections.... in no way are they aimed at others.

Peace foo's

Mr. Stanley

Thursday, May 14, 2009

Today.... not so much

So this morning on my way to work I got an effing speeding ticket from a dude that looks just like senor estrada over there & rode a copocycle.... last week some douche gave me a ticket for expired registration (it wasnt expired! I was waitin for the effin stickers to come in the mail) soooooooooo today started off awesome. Additionally my mind's a mess, I'm tired, dont feel good, & am discouraged with "stuff". That said.... it's my own fault. I shouldnt have been speeding... I should have sent for those stickers earlier.... I can't control shut-down mode for my brain but I can control what/who I let bother/affect me.... so pretty much complaining about my predicaments is retarded... I'm the one that created them in the first place. As for today's mental meltdown, I think its healthy that we get discouraged & lose hope every now and then because then The Man gets to remind us of everything good in our lives so we quit bein sissy's... Sometimes situations suck. Right now I've got one thats just wearing me down. But I'm learning patience & to put my logic aside & just do what feels right. My mind screams at me to do one thing while my heart & el Senor tell me to do another... adversity... such a negatively associated word... but it's not, it's what makes us who we are. Its not what happens to us but how we react to the adversity that shows our true desires & character. I bet tomorrow is going to be much better than today, but if not, I'm sure I'll survive... getting through the tough times makes me appreciate this life so much more, but not knowing how long its gonna take is the hardest part for me... buuuuut I'm blessed, I know it. "Sometimes the very moments that seem to overcome us with suffering are those that will ultimately suffer us to overcome." soooo I guess my point is... don't let the bastards grind you down amigos.... buck up, pay your dues & endure. Things dont always work out the way you want them to, but if your hearts in the right place & you are tryin to do your best you'll be ok. Just don't expect anything or chances are you're going to be dissapointed more often than not...


Thursday, April 23, 2009

Ten reasons we need to perfect cloning

1. Cloning me would make the world that much more awesome

2. Easier to repel Zombie's if we have armies of me and my frengs

3. Men wouldnt need women anymore.... <-- that statement is just a joke ladies... we would still need ya to cook us dinner.... bwahahahaha!

4. Ummmm spare parts.... like that movie The Island, except keep them in coma's so they don't get smart & escape & eff up your ability to replace body parts that crap out on ya.

5. I would, in effect, never die. but would my clone have my sense of humor/personality?? i'd hate to have a clone that wasn't up to par...

6. You could use your clone as a decoy (to go do dude stuff) and wives could also use them for tasks they don't like..... think about it.....

7. You could see what you would look like with tatoo's or cool scars beforehand. then self mutilate if it's awesome looking.

8. You could make your clone go to work for you on slow days & if spoken to just have him cough a lot & say he took too much dayquil.

9. Fodder for enemies whilst you beat a hasty retreat.

10. You could clone hot babes.

Why in the hell are they cloning sheep & the like when they could be cloning hot babes?? duuuh. nerd scientists wouldnt know what to do with them. Those freakin geeks need to put me in charge & I'll take that crap to the next level. I'd go all jurassic park & bring back some dinosaurs in addition to babes. So yeah, maybe I should have gone into science cuz those guys have zero imagination..... effing sheep....booooooorrrrinnnngggg!!! How about a T-Rex outside your bedroom window?? or takin the kids for Stegosaurus rides in the summer? awesome.

Thursday, March 5, 2009

Spiritual Pimp-Slapp

I just listened to this today:
apparently I was wondering what the five fingers said to the face and President Hales had the answer..... but it couldn't have come at a better time. I'm no peter priesthood but hearing talks like this make me want to try harder to be the guy I'm supposed to be, instead of the idiot I am.... I admit I'm feelin like a total homo for posting church talks but this one was a kick in the face that I needed & if you haven't heard it you should.

Monday, March 2, 2009

Conquest or Capitulation?

In war these are terms of ultimate victory or defeat. They are definitive and summarize the efforts of both the defeated and the victors. Really when I think about it these two words define why we are here. Are we here to fight tooth and nail to attain the higher plane? or are we here to surrender our wills to one who uses machiavellian schemes to subvert and ultimately destroy our potential glory? Yeah, thats a little dramatic sounding... but really every freakin day is a struggle against those who would love to see us stumble.... realistically, we will not win every battle.... but most wars are won after a series of long bloody fights. Life seems to be an unending struggle for our very souls, the opposition is fierce, they want nothing more than to see us give up our wills and submit to their flawed ideology. Sometimes, if not most times, we tend to focus only on the defeats we suffer and by doing so, allow them bear us down to even further states of depravity.... but we must learn to keep the end in sight, regardless of the setbacks we suffer. Fortunately for us, we have a loving God at our backs and a Living Savior that sacrificed himself so that we can rise from our failings and stand at his side if we are but willing to humble ourselves and ask (not beg) for their forgiveness. God himself has given us (NOT just men) a restored priesthood that if called upon righteously has limitless power and authority. All of us have access to call upon it and NOTHING can stand in its way. We can't allow our setbacks to become our habitual faults.... correcting our mistakes and moving on with the knowledge, gratefulness, and respect that Christ suffered for our every stumble will help us to someday super cede the natural man. God will never abandon us! It's when we believe we are in our darkest hour he lovingly explains that it was never dark in the first place...we just refused to open our eyes.... even in the darkest night there are still stars... And you guys that know me know that I'm a potty-mouthed sinner, but like I said, this was all brought to the front of my mind through the stuff thats been going on the last few months & I know I have lots of work to do.... The Lord is good to me and I can say that all my trials and tribulations have been for my own good and experience. Some were easier to overcome than others but each struggle has taught me so much about how well God knows me. The refiners fire can be a crucible but we all need to remember the Lord will never tempt us beyond our strength to overcome. On the flipside the adversary also knows our faults and flaws and his machinations are precisely concealed and designed for us on an individual level to be our very own Trojan horses.... he's a conniving bastard that takes ultimate pleasure in our pain. So even though we don't always see it coming, we can prepare to deal with it so when we finally do recognize that we are already knee-deep in pissed off Greeks. We know who wins in the end, but it's enduring and how we deal with our setbacks that will lead us to our own personal glory or defeat.

The final victory is already decided.... so it's time to figure out if you want to be one who Conquered or one who Capitulated?

Tuesday, February 17, 2009

Most Homo Music Videos/Songs EVER!

Blame it on the Rain......GAY
Ice Ice Baby.......ALSO GAY
Too Legit.....EVEN GAYER
Girl you know it's true.....GAYER THAN GAYER McGAYERSON
Holy crap.
Career Suicide
THE RADICAL RUSSIAN....This one is so bad it's good.
Human Troll Doll....no effing kiddin
SIA??? crap I like her..... but this is weird as hell

Friday, January 30, 2009

The Greatest Movie Battles of All Time Part 1

Here's to war and glory........ I give you the best movie fights of all time (this is a list that will grow as I recall more epic conquests)
China vs Japan....this is ridiculous(LY AWESOME)
Hellz yeah whoever created this is amazing
Badass Dad 1 where do I buy one of those blue weapons??
Badass Dad 2 Anyone that has tomahawk skills is ok in my book
Hammatime crazy asian movie I saw on the sundance channel..... oldboy dominates
Who has the marbles to do this? Tyler Durden does....
Tom Cruise? every dog has its day man..... let Tom have his...
Eeeeyeah! (PART 2)Samurai's know how to lay it down.
Victorious insanity screaming like that after you've destroyed an English army... sexcellent.
Mortal Combat I seriously hate that wimpy fag on the stairs.... this was crazy
Speaking of Mortal Kombat sorry.... I had to do this....
Skin that smokewagon Billy Bob gets whats comin to him. Full of badass lines
Huckleberry Doc is the coolest dude with TB ever.
Knife chucking 101 Big trouble in little china rulez
Big Trouble Round 2 summary of battles
Bills Battle from the Kill Bill Movies (get ready, there will be a bunch)
Black Mamba vs Bill
Black Mamba vs California Mountain Snake
Black Mamba vs Copperhead
Black Mamba vs Gogo
Black Mamba vs Cottonmouth
Black Mamba vs Crazy 88's
Black Mamba vs Bud
Black Mamba & Pai Mei
Variety Pack
Excalibur Awesome old school movie
Gladiator The holy grail
CLASSIC I'm your effing father!!!
Bloodsport Remeber when Van Dam was awesome??
Rob Roy kills the Dainty Boy
Ok ok thats enough for now.... Future posts will contain more epic scenes, in the meantime check out the WORST FIGHT EVER! its so terrible it's almost good....

Sunday, January 18, 2009

My Buddies

So this whole job/responsible adult crap sucks. Dave, Dan, and Ryan all took their stuff and women back up to Idaho without me..... I want to go too?!?!? but I can't..... or i'll lose my job, house, and kickass credit score. Once again responsibility and adulthood has ruined what could be a continuation of awesome times with awesome people (yes Steph's x 2, Allyx, MB, and Potterpants you are also included in that awesomeness) but for realz, I have some of the best friends ever..... let me make a list IN NO PARTICULAR ORDER OF AWESOMENESS of my favorite man friends of all time.

1. My brothers/parentals.... duh, we are "Sang Real"/Lords of Mann.

2. Jesse Glenn- Cousin/ Co-owner of a Telephone pole near R mountain...... long story

3. Dan "total" Moedl- Roomate/manlover

4. "Ninja" Dave Kulisch- Fellow "Historian" (we are experts on related yet different subjects)

5. "Ryno" Evans- The only man besides He-Man that looks good in a fur thong

6. "Commander Brandmo/Cosmo" Marcum- The dude that looked like the rest of us for a summer

7. "Todd the Penetrator" Youngberg- yeah, we were mean to scotty... but he made it so easy!! but some of the funniest crap i've ever heard came out of his face.

8. "LPG"- My brother..... need i say more?? "everyone are mean to him"

9. "Chintzy" Clark- Freakin crazy...... also my only pit fighter friend. His mom can cook.....

10. "Dave as well"- New to my list but nonetheless so far so good!

11. "San Juan"- The only person that would ever qualify me to be the Jesus of his religion... Married to the girl that bought me petrified dino-shite..... doesnt get much cooler than that....

12. Jesus- ummm he died for my sins... none of the other jerks on this list even offered to do any such thing.......

13. "Nasty" Navarro- My Cubaraguan brother from my oldschool days

14. Jeb- my triplet..... things were never the same when he entered my life and will never be the same since he passed away.... i miss him so bad....

15. Brad Pitt- For being so damn hot.

16. Dylan "spicwop" Izquierdo- too many crazy things happend when i met this guy, but some of the best times of my life.

17. Gerry Q- The only guy to ever get a Jewish kid to pray to God in Jesus's name to put out a fire.... insane story.....

18. Sharon- She's a chick but she's my cousin and one of my best friends..... don't be offended girls... she has my blood, thats the only she made the list.

19. God- Duh.... he made Earth. Also he gave us the technology via science to create Coca-Cola Classic , ho-ho's, red vines, and TV. Plus he's everyones real dad.

So yeah, those are the guys that I consider the most kickass people ever. If you havent met them, you probably shouldnt, except Jesus/God of course If you meet them put in a good word for me, but the rest are trouble.... duh, they are my friends. But I love'em and wouldnt be who I am without them. I'm seriously thinking about writing a book about my life and if I do you'll see these names (unless I have to do the whole name protection crap) come up lots cuz these were some of the main guys that can back up my crazy stories..... So yeah, I've got some great friends, and I miss the ones that are gone or live far away, but am grateful for the ones close by. This blog's for my homies.....


The Lord

Wednesday, January 14, 2009

The Death of Skeletor

One of the funniest things I've seen was in the old school Heman Cartoons, all of Skeletors minions are being captured by evil vines (controlled by a giant asparagus named Evilseed) and Beastman, while being entangled, asks Skeletor for help. Skeletors reply is " I can't worry about YOU! I'm too busy worrying about ME" so what does this have to do with me??? sadly that's pretty much been my motto for the last year. Soooooo yeah, here goes: Life's all about acquiring skills and learning, but sometimes we forget things that really are important.... like how to interact with women you are actually interested in and pursue it. I don't know what happened but I seem to have selectively erased my memories on that subject, dating for me has become like foreign policy between the US and North Korea.... and I for sure don't speak Korean nor care about the country but there's fear that they could unleash mass destruction on me if I neglect them much longer. I havent met a girl that I've been interested in forever. Maybe it's the age discrepancy in my ward? or that there aren't many girls that are over 23 that I'd date? but even when I find one thats somewhat interesting I'm oblivious as to whether they feel the same..... its like playing a game but not having an instruction manual with rules and directions how to go about things, and your team mate won't tell you jack cuz she expects you to do everything...... I never had any of these problems at school (beyond dating the wrong person for 3yrs too long), but seriously, I could read chicks like a friggin book.... now.... it's like watching the news in chinese, I can see & hear the people but have no effffffing idea what they are saying or trying to convey. Memories of my teenage years are resurfacing.....the awkwardness, nervousness, word vomits...... It's sad to admit that when it comes to girls (that I am interested in) I don't know what the heck I'm doing anymore. No more smooth moves, cocky comments, or going for the kill.... that's all been replaced by fear, insecurity, and sissyness..... this is a problem I've got to nip in the bud quick..... I took too much time off and seem to have forgotten how to take care of business, unfortunately all my wingmen are married & I don't know many people here, so there's the next battle. First get my butt out of my house and date more than my current once or twice a monther, then I need to remember where I left my balls when I'm with a girl I like. It's time for changes, I'm getting waaaaaaaaaaay to comfy with my current life and although I honestly am loving it, I know what needs to be done (my bishop, parents, married friends, and many others also know & love to remind me of this). But I have to say, I'm in no rush to even get a girlfriend let alone wife.... I just realize that I need to start dating more cuz I'm forgetting that there are other people in the world besides me myself and I. It's been really easy and nice just worrying about me, buying whatever I want, and pretty much being a selfish dude that keeps to himself (Hence the Skeletor stuff). But yeah, I don't want to end up living the rest of my life vicariously through my brothers. Anyways if you couldn't tell I feel kinda guilty for the last year or so cuz all I've done has really just been for my own gratification. I'm scared cuz it's not going to be easy and like I said I love my life the way it is but unfortunately my peers are correct and the scriptures back them up. So here goes nothin (or everything) BARF!!!!! I hate myself for even admitting this.

Friday, January 9, 2009

Diversity- it's what makes people conquer other people.

Ok sooooooo i'm bored and have tons of stuff on my mind, first new music. Trespassers Willam Livi.... if you read this, I think you will lick the Different Stars album. Good music with a singer thats more of a siren, although they are NOT for raising hell, crazy driving, or shakin tail. Also another awesomeness is not only this song (What else is there? by Royksopp), but their weirdo music video that's so artsy?eerie?drug induced?? I don't know why, but I think it's awesome. Speakin of Royksopp thier other songs on my playlist are Only this moment & Remind me (geico commercial) hmmmm what else...... ohhhhh yeah, So Fight Club is one of my favorite movies and there's a song at the end that isnt on the soundtrack but I friggin found it! It's a Pixies song called Where is my mind and it's so good it makes me want to go punch Brad Pitt in the ear. For the head bobbers there's Dr. Octagon MGMT 1 & 2 Another pretty chill bunch is Cary Brothers: Who you are album. Unlike the Jonas Brothers they don't suck..... sorry if you like the latter (no I'm actually not, I'd rather eat glass or even onions than hear them again) For my amigos that like the club youve got Andy Duguid, Oceanlab 1 & 2, Motorcycle, Felix, Above and Beyond (Tri-state remix & Anjunjabeats albums) and of course Tiesto.. thats enough of that genre. Right now I'm into chill music thats mostly just music, as in no lyrics. These are my "introspective" recommendations..... Sigur Ros, The Fountain (soundtrack by Clint Mansell <---- all his stuff is good), Secret Garden, Explosions in the Sky 1 & 2, Hans Zimmer's collective works (soundtrack master), The Piano (soundtrack by Michael Nyman)........ that should keep you busy if youre interested. And this is just scratchin the surface suckas!! I wasnt kidding two posts ago about how much I love music. So be thou satisfied, I tried to diversify the selection (sorry crap lovers Dr. Octagon is as close as i'll ever get, and scremo/emo is for dudes that wear tapered pants and wear thier hair across their face like a japanese cartoon) if you like something let me know, if you don't... shut your face!! ahahhahaha Anyways I think its about time I got religious on this thing, heck I might even add this to my daily ritual. In case you forget: I am the coolest person you know. If you disagree take it up with my friends they'll set you straight..... hasta luego amigos!

p.s. I'm going to see Gran Turino tonight and I can't effffing wait to see Clint Eastwood be a badass bigot that falls to the might of the Asian Persuasion

Thursday, January 8, 2009

Samurai Showdown

I admit it.... i have a crazy wierd obsession with all things Japanese. If i could build a home..... i wouldnt.... i'd build an effing DOJO! too bad the closest i've gotten to that dream is planting a Japanese Maple in my front yard.... someday when my empire has grown i'll have my own dojo mark my words. What made this fetish resurface so freakin hardcore?? well last week i saw kill bill 2 on tv (i love those movies) and on it there's a part where this little girl wants to watch a movie called Shogun Assassin. I thought "what is this movie i've never heard of? why would a kid want to watch it? and that narration sounds really badass" and I was then sucked into a single-minded focus and spent the next few days tracking a copy down (not an easy task). I bought it, watched it, loved it, and then recieved confirmation that i was born in the wrong time period. Feudal Japan was a riot, top-knots, swords, ninjas, assassins, chopping limbs off people....... yeah if i volunteered to come down now i hate myself, i for sure could have been shogun. But seriously it was a crazy movie, easy to see why Quentin loved it. That being said i mentioned it to my pop and he suggested i watch The Seven Samurai (which is actually what inspired americans to rip it off and make the western The Magnificent Seven but don't get me started on westerns.... right now i'm in full Japanese mode) anyways i watched it and for a black'n'white with subtitles i was really impressed, it was a pretty good movie. Now i'm not wanting to run around with swords or anything nerdy like that but really, i'm obsessed with Japanese art, culture, architecture, landscaping, you name it... the Edo era Nippon had some seriously awesome style. I could care less about Kung Fu and Karate, but Bushido, Tao, and Zen are also pretty tempting offers. Watch the four clips here ummmmm awwwwwwwsome. Yeah i'm weird. So i guess the real question is: how long is this obsession going to last???? i've already been eyeballing new artwork/furniture for my future dojo......