Friday, January 30, 2009

The Greatest Movie Battles of All Time Part 1


Here's to war and glory........ I give you the best movie fights of all time (this is a list that will grow as I recall more epic conquests)
China vs Japan....this is ridiculous(LY AWESOME)
Hellz yeah whoever created this is amazing
Badass Dad 1 where do I buy one of those blue weapons??
Badass Dad 2 Anyone that has tomahawk skills is ok in my book
Hammatime crazy asian movie I saw on the sundance channel..... oldboy dominates
Who has the marbles to do this? Tyler Durden does....
Tom Cruise? every dog has its day man..... let Tom have his...
Eeeeyeah! (PART 2)Samurai's know how to lay it down.
Victorious insanity screaming like that after you've destroyed an English army... sexcellent.
Mortal Combat I seriously hate that wimpy fag on the stairs.... this was crazy
Speaking of Mortal Kombat sorry.... I had to do this....
Skin that smokewagon Billy Bob gets whats comin to him. Full of badass lines
Huckleberry Doc is the coolest dude with TB ever.
Knife chucking 101 Big trouble in little china rulez
Big Trouble Round 2 summary of battles
Bills Battle from the Kill Bill Movies (get ready, there will be a bunch)
Black Mamba vs Bill
Black Mamba vs California Mountain Snake
Black Mamba vs Copperhead
Black Mamba vs Gogo
Black Mamba vs Cottonmouth
Black Mamba vs Crazy 88's
Black Mamba vs Bud
Black Mamba & Pai Mei
Sparta!
Variety Pack
Excalibur Awesome old school movie
Gladiator The holy grail
CLASSIC I'm your effing father!!!
Bloodsport Remeber when Van Dam was awesome??
Rob Roy kills the Dainty Boy
Ok ok thats enough for now.... Future posts will contain more epic scenes, in the meantime check out the WORST FIGHT EVER! its so terrible it's almost good....

Sunday, January 18, 2009

My Buddies



So this whole job/responsible adult crap sucks. Dave, Dan, and Ryan all took their stuff and women back up to Idaho without me..... I want to go too?!?!? but I can't..... or i'll lose my job, house, and kickass credit score. Once again responsibility and adulthood has ruined what could be a continuation of awesome times with awesome people (yes Steph's x 2, Allyx, MB, and Potterpants you are also included in that awesomeness) but for realz, I have some of the best friends ever..... let me make a list IN NO PARTICULAR ORDER OF AWESOMENESS of my favorite man friends of all time.

1. My brothers/parentals.... duh, we are "Sang Real"/Lords of Mann.

2. Jesse Glenn- Cousin/ Co-owner of a Telephone pole near R mountain...... long story

3. Dan "total" Moedl- Roomate/manlover

4. "Ninja" Dave Kulisch- Fellow "Historian" (we are experts on related yet different subjects)

5. "Ryno" Evans- The only man besides He-Man that looks good in a fur thong

6. "Commander Brandmo/Cosmo" Marcum- The dude that looked like the rest of us for a summer

7. "Todd the Penetrator" Youngberg- yeah, we were mean to scotty... but he made it so easy!! but some of the funniest crap i've ever heard came out of his face.

8. "LPG"- My brother..... need i say more?? "everyone are mean to him"

9. "Chintzy" Clark- Freakin crazy...... also my only pit fighter friend. His mom can cook.....

10. "Dave as well"- New to my list but nonetheless so far so good!

11. "San Juan"- The only person that would ever qualify me to be the Jesus of his religion... Married to the girl that bought me petrified dino-shite..... doesnt get much cooler than that....

12. Jesus- ummm he died for my sins... none of the other jerks on this list even offered to do any such thing.......

13. "Nasty" Navarro- My Cubaraguan brother from my oldschool days

14. Jeb- my triplet..... things were never the same when he entered my life and will never be the same since he passed away.... i miss him so bad....

15. Brad Pitt- For being so damn hot.

16. Dylan "spicwop" Izquierdo- too many crazy things happend when i met this guy, but some of the best times of my life.

17. Gerry Q- The only guy to ever get a Jewish kid to pray to God in Jesus's name to put out a fire.... insane story.....

18. Sharon- She's a chick but she's my cousin and one of my best friends..... don't be offended girls... she has my blood, thats the only she made the list.

19. God- Duh.... he made Earth. Also he gave us the technology via science to create Coca-Cola Classic , ho-ho's, red vines, and TV. Plus he's everyones real dad.

So yeah, those are the guys that I consider the most kickass people ever. If you havent met them, you probably shouldnt, except Jesus/God of course If you meet them put in a good word for me, but the rest are trouble.... duh, they are my friends. But I love'em and wouldnt be who I am without them. I'm seriously thinking about writing a book about my life and if I do you'll see these names (unless I have to do the whole name protection crap) come up lots cuz these were some of the main guys that can back up my crazy stories..... So yeah, I've got some great friends, and I miss the ones that are gone or live far away, but am grateful for the ones close by. This blog's for my homies.....

Love,

The Lord

Wednesday, January 14, 2009

The Death of Skeletor


One of the funniest things I've seen was in the old school Heman Cartoons, all of Skeletors minions are being captured by evil vines (controlled by a giant asparagus named Evilseed) and Beastman, while being entangled, asks Skeletor for help. Skeletors reply is " I can't worry about YOU! I'm too busy worrying about ME" so what does this have to do with me??? sadly that's pretty much been my motto for the last year. Soooooo yeah, here goes: Life's all about acquiring skills and learning, but sometimes we forget things that really are important.... like how to interact with women you are actually interested in and pursue it. I don't know what happened but I seem to have selectively erased my memories on that subject, dating for me has become like foreign policy between the US and North Korea.... and I for sure don't speak Korean nor care about the country but there's fear that they could unleash mass destruction on me if I neglect them much longer. I havent met a girl that I've been interested in forever. Maybe it's the age discrepancy in my ward? or that there aren't many girls that are over 23 that I'd date? but even when I find one thats somewhat interesting I'm oblivious as to whether they feel the same..... its like playing a game but not having an instruction manual with rules and directions how to go about things, and your team mate won't tell you jack cuz she expects you to do everything...... I never had any of these problems at school (beyond dating the wrong person for 3yrs too long), but seriously, I could read chicks like a friggin book.... now.... it's like watching the news in chinese, I can see & hear the people but have no effffffing idea what they are saying or trying to convey. Memories of my teenage years are resurfacing.....the awkwardness, nervousness, word vomits...... It's sad to admit that when it comes to girls (that I am interested in) I don't know what the heck I'm doing anymore. No more smooth moves, cocky comments, or going for the kill.... that's all been replaced by fear, insecurity, and sissyness..... this is a problem I've got to nip in the bud quick..... I took too much time off and seem to have forgotten how to take care of business, unfortunately all my wingmen are married & I don't know many people here, so there's the next battle. First get my butt out of my house and date more than my current once or twice a monther, then I need to remember where I left my balls when I'm with a girl I like. It's time for changes, I'm getting waaaaaaaaaaay to comfy with my current life and although I honestly am loving it, I know what needs to be done (my bishop, parents, married friends, and many others also know & love to remind me of this). But I have to say, I'm in no rush to even get a girlfriend let alone wife.... I just realize that I need to start dating more cuz I'm forgetting that there are other people in the world besides me myself and I. It's been really easy and nice just worrying about me, buying whatever I want, and pretty much being a selfish dude that keeps to himself (Hence the Skeletor stuff). But yeah, I don't want to end up living the rest of my life vicariously through my brothers. Anyways if you couldn't tell I feel kinda guilty for the last year or so cuz all I've done has really just been for my own gratification. I'm scared cuz it's not going to be easy and like I said I love my life the way it is but unfortunately my peers are correct and the scriptures back them up. So here goes nothin (or everything) BARF!!!!! I hate myself for even admitting this.

Friday, January 9, 2009

Diversity- it's what makes people conquer other people.


Ok sooooooo i'm bored and have tons of stuff on my mind, first new music. Trespassers Willam Livi.... if you read this, I think you will lick the Different Stars album. Good music with a singer thats more of a siren, although they are NOT for raising hell, crazy driving, or shakin tail. Also another awesomeness is not only this song (What else is there? by Royksopp), but their weirdo music video that's so artsy?eerie?drug induced?? I don't know why, but I think it's awesome. Speakin of Royksopp thier other songs on my playlist are Only this moment & Remind me (geico commercial) hmmmm what else...... ohhhhh yeah, So Fight Club is one of my favorite movies and there's a song at the end that isnt on the soundtrack but I friggin found it! It's a Pixies song called Where is my mind and it's so good it makes me want to go punch Brad Pitt in the ear. For the head bobbers there's Dr. Octagon MGMT 1 & 2 Another pretty chill bunch is Cary Brothers: Who you are album. Unlike the Jonas Brothers they don't suck..... sorry if you like the latter (no I'm actually not, I'd rather eat glass or even onions than hear them again) For my amigos that like the club youve got Andy Duguid, Oceanlab 1 & 2, Motorcycle, Felix, Above and Beyond (Tri-state remix & Anjunjabeats albums) and of course Tiesto.. thats enough of that genre. Right now I'm into chill music thats mostly just music, as in no lyrics. These are my "introspective" recommendations..... Sigur Ros, The Fountain (soundtrack by Clint Mansell <---- all his stuff is good), Secret Garden, Explosions in the Sky 1 & 2, Hans Zimmer's collective works (soundtrack master), The Piano (soundtrack by Michael Nyman)........ that should keep you busy if youre interested. And this is just scratchin the surface suckas!! I wasnt kidding two posts ago about how much I love music. So be thou satisfied, I tried to diversify the selection (sorry crap lovers Dr. Octagon is as close as i'll ever get, and scremo/emo is for dudes that wear tapered pants and wear thier hair across their face like a japanese cartoon) if you like something let me know, if you don't... shut your face!! ahahhahaha Anyways I think its about time I got religious on this thing, heck I might even add this to my daily ritual. In case you forget: I am the coolest person you know. If you disagree take it up with my friends they'll set you straight..... hasta luego amigos!


p.s. I'm going to see Gran Turino tonight and I can't effffing wait to see Clint Eastwood be a badass bigot that falls to the might of the Asian Persuasion

Thursday, January 8, 2009

Samurai Showdown


I admit it.... i have a crazy wierd obsession with all things Japanese. If i could build a home..... i wouldnt.... i'd build an effing DOJO! too bad the closest i've gotten to that dream is planting a Japanese Maple in my front yard.... someday when my empire has grown i'll have my own dojo mark my words. What made this fetish resurface so freakin hardcore?? well last week i saw kill bill 2 on tv (i love those movies) and on it there's a part where this little girl wants to watch a movie called Shogun Assassin. I thought "what is this movie i've never heard of? why would a kid want to watch it? and that narration sounds really badass" and I was then sucked into a single-minded focus and spent the next few days tracking a copy down (not an easy task). I bought it, watched it, loved it, and then recieved confirmation that i was born in the wrong time period. Feudal Japan was a riot, top-knots, swords, ninjas, assassins, chopping limbs off people....... yeah if i volunteered to come down now i hate myself, i for sure could have been shogun. But seriously it was a crazy movie, easy to see why Quentin loved it. That being said i mentioned it to my pop and he suggested i watch The Seven Samurai (which is actually what inspired americans to rip it off and make the western The Magnificent Seven but don't get me started on westerns.... right now i'm in full Japanese mode) anyways i watched it and for a black'n'white with subtitles i was really impressed, it was a pretty good movie. Now i'm not wanting to run around with swords or anything nerdy like that but really, i'm obsessed with Japanese art, culture, architecture, landscaping, you name it... the Edo era Nippon had some seriously awesome style. I could care less about Kung Fu and Karate, but Bushido, Tao, and Zen are also pretty tempting offers. Watch the four clips here ummmmm awwwwwwwsome. Yeah i'm weird. So i guess the real question is: how long is this obsession going to last???? i've already been eyeballing new artwork/furniture for my future dojo......
SAYONARA SUCKAS!!!!