Tuesday, March 2, 2010

To: The Half-Ass Assassin

So someone crawled under my car and "deliberately tampered" with my shiz. What the hell? the mechanic (who used the aforementioned words in quotes) asked me if I had tinkered with it & I was like "uhhhhhh why would I need to monkey around with a brand new car"?? he was apparently wondering the same thing. He then told me to watch my car VERY carefully..... with much emphasis on the italicized word....weirdness?? to be honest I instantly was pondering those who I might have pissed off recently.... and then pondered how shitty they are as a killer if they cut the power steering line instead of something important, like my brakes or gas line. So congrats to whomever you are... you successfully made steering difficult (although you did waste a chunk of my time) and you are an amateur saboteur & probably suck at life as well. But it still makes me wonder who the heck would crawl under my car and cut stuff up??? honestly?? Know this suckafish: You did not do any significant damage nor did you cost me a wooden nickel (FYI-wait a few years/100,000 miles for all my warranties to expire) and most awesomely: I'm still 1000% alive.... in fact my forearms are even buffer from the workout they got steering the Radmobile around town w/o powersteering. So I guess I should say thanks for the workout. Next time you want to get revenge do your homework and really try to find a way to mess things up cuz all you did was put this mug on red alert so beware.... the Lord is now vigilant.



p.s. just in case you are contemplating a repeat effort (although you should do some research about how engines work and such) know this: I recently acquired one of these  **CLICK ME** and will not hesitate to use it.

5 comments:

melissa said...

HAHAHAHAHAHA who would do such a thing? maybe it was levi............................

MB said...

when you wrote "saboteur" I kept hearing Andy Bernard yelling at Jim saying "It's SABOTEUR! SABOTEUR! I'm gonna kill you for real."

Ruby Villain said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Whittney and Ryan said...

i am so happy to hear that you are 1000% alive!!!

Lord Stanley said...

Most people are 100% but I'm not most people....