Tuesday, April 12, 2011

Hunter Gatherer

Currently I blazed through the first 2 seasons of Sons of Anarchy.... if you are a male, watch it.... I guarantee you'll want to go buy the following 3 things 1. A motorcycle (preferably a Harley) 2. A big belt knife 3. A handgun. Also you'll probably want to quit your job, join a MC (motorcycle club) and start a life of crime. At least that's what happened to me. Workins for the birds... I want to ride around Nor-cal tearing stuff up & shooting rival gang members. OK...not really but my immaturity sure would like that. Also I've been getting in touch with my inner redneck & applied for various hunts this year. Turkeys & Deer... this is something I've never done & am a bit apprehensive about it... not about the shooting/stalking my prey part, but the part where I have to skin/gut/whatever you do once you've shot a wild animal... I consider myself outdoorsy & have camped/trekked all over the country but I already know that if I actually manage to kill one of those beasts I'll probably be like "uhhh sooo what now"? I have no clue how to do that stuff & I guess I better figure that out before I go killing (like Chuck Norris, I don't hunt... I kill) so we'll see how that goes. Side note: I spent 3hrs hiking up/through/down the Wasatch mountains in snow that was sometimes waist deep looking for Turkeys.... good exercise but overall a cold, wet, exhausting experience that resulted in us returning empty handed. We saw a female Turkey though... so I don't feel that cheated. Part of me wonders if I'm that guy that barfs if I have to do the butchering... Which led me to thinking, we've got it pretty easy these days, no messy bloody chopping beyond cutting the saran wrap off the packaged meat. And I, for one, admittedly I like it that way.. but I must appease my animal spirit & learn how to do this. Why? 1 part test of manhood & 1 part preparation. what if the proverbial crap hit the fan & the current system broke down? Knowing this crud could pay off/feed me. Also it's my weird dream to one day kill a buffalo with a spear on horseback so I think this is the first step to achieving that dream. Yeah, I know... totally weird... but for some reason I just have that desire & am gonna go with it. Just going on these little hunts has made me realize that it would have totally sucked to be a pioneer... that and the fact that they all probably smelled really bad too.. And not having electricity...barf. People that say they wish they lived back then are either stupid or delusional. Yeah life was probably more simple but life expectancy was half what it is today & I bet if you had a time machine & went back you'd be back to the future in no time... the past was only cool when we think about the big picture... wars, westward expansion, indians, exploration, etc... but the nitty gritty details of that life (poor hygiene, life expectancy, disease, famine, zero flushable toilets, nasty food, no hostess products, no coke, no dentist, crap doctors...) makes the reality of the past kind of a hygiene horror story to me. I know I could hack it but I'd rather not....one cold shower & I'd be back in the phone booth/DeLorean so instead I'll continue to be a modern man that dabbles in Davy Crockett-like behavior...while wearing deodorant.

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