Monday, August 29, 2011

Time Travel, Emergency Rooms, and Radiation

Spent most of the evening in the hospital, I'd felt like crap & had some gnarly pain in my abdomen so I went to the Urgent care who gave me a shot in my butt, sucked what felt like a gallon of blood, and made me pee in a cup only to tell me they thought I had appendicitis & needed to go to the hospital.... sooooo went to the hospital, got stabbed for blood a bunch more, peed in another cup & got an IV (luckily they gave me something that made me feel nothing for the next few hours) Got felt up by a doctor, did CT scans & then waited for eternity just to find out they don't know whats going on... they think I passed a kidney stone or my appendix is preparing to start a mutiny?? weird. I thought modern science could narrow it down a little better.... but at least I don't feel any pain right now. And I also have the comfort of knowing that my scans didn't show any aliens or tumors so I guess the hellish pain ain't so bad compared to what it could have been. Another thing I learned... CT scans are expensive... but cool & look like small stargates (without the hieroglyphs & water-portal thingy) sadly, when you go into one you are not taken to another point in the universe with Kurt Russel... just bombarded with radiation & given commands from a robot on when/when not to breathe. Thankfully, they drugs they gave me pretty much  sent me on an intergalactic adventure. If that was a kidney stone I would hate to feel what it's like to have one that gets stuck b/c I was pretty miserable for two full days!! ugh. Anyways its' another indication that I'm not as invincible as I think I am....

Wednesday, August 10, 2011

Needs vs. Wants

I think I need a vacation... somewhere exotic, tropical, preferably with sand & shallow crystal clear water. I need to clear my head. I need to re-focus. I need to grow up. I need to not be so serious. I need to stop caring about some things. I need to start caring about others. I need to be more outgoing. I need to let go & yet I also need to hang on. Apparently I need to re-vamp myself/life/etc.... again. For the better. For my sanity. For my future. I think that having & working at self-improvement is healthy... I just wonder if people that read this think I'm Satan or a douche or something. More like I'm really hard on myself & like to tear up parts I don't like & reconstruct myself on a semi-annual basis.... not out of pity or crap like that... more like I want to be who I think I should be & know I'm supposed to be (I just really suck at sticking to the program) Life is good just kinda routine & a little boring lately. The markets are insane! which in turn makes my job stressful (hence the need for vacation) I also miss a certain someone....and I know that certain someone will most likely read this & that's fine with me. I'm excited to see my brothers & sister-in laws (one isn't officially but it feels like she is) Friday can't come fast enough. I need to get buff again. I LOVE my nieces & nephew... they are the funniest cutest kids ever & I pretty much hate that they are getting older & growing up so fast. I love how my Dad & I are becoming such good friends... In one day of fishing I learned more about his life than I did in the previous 29 years of my existence. He's such an awesome person & example of overcoming horrible odds/situations & seeing the positive. Pretty much right now I am feeling really peaceful, content & happy... I just miss people that I care about & are far away & others that I've lost touch with. My needs are self-improvements & my wants are righteous desires so I'm feeling that I'm in the right place.... for once. Except the vacation... it's selfish & I don't care. I deserve it, it's been a crazy year. So now I need to figure out where I'm going & how to keep this zen buzz forever.

Amen bossanovas

LS